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Five Things Parents Do That Make Youth Ministry Harder

Five Things Parents Do That Make Youth Ministry Harder

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From youth workers everywhere, to parents anywhere: We love you and appreciate you, but we sometimes want to strangle you! After working for 22 years alongside my wife in youth ministry, I have seen from parents some mistakes I’d like to see corrected. Here are five of the most common ones:

  1. Punishing their kids with church.

Yes, you heard it right. Johnny or Maria behaved badly. As punishment from their infraction they can’t go to Camporee or youth group. I believe there are 1,000,001 other ways you can punish your kids. Please use them. One day, you will want him/her to go and she won’t want to. Why make that day come sooner?

  1. Make the youth worker work extra hard.

Many times the people that lead or volunteer in your youth group have kids of their own. They want to make a difference. They don’t have much time, just like the rest of us. Some parents make the least effort possible to get their kids involved in youth activities. I had the following happen too many times: Parents that would not pick up or drop off kids. After a long drive following an outing they expected the youth leaders to drop them off at the house (that usually was my wife). Once, coming back from an activity, one of the teens in the car contacted her parents that said they could not pick her up. After midnight, we had to go and drop them off. We did not mind, but, really?

  1. Never get involved, but make a big stink when you don’t like ___________________.

Please don’t write letters and complain because of hearsay or comments other parents made. Don’t you just love it when parents that put no work in and have not attended any of the events all of a sudden write nasty emails because of one event or situation that did not go right? Honor your youth workers. They are not perfect, and need correction like all of us. Give them grace. They take care of your kids.

  1. Using kids as pawns.

Some church members use kids for political games. Boycotting events and having kids to ask leading questions that really came from you are destructive and can really damage your teen’s faith. Millennials in their majority already think the church is shallow. They see church people not acting very churchy. Fight your own battles. Kids are not your pawns, messengers or political allies.

  1. Attending the youth ministry event and forgetting IT’S FOR YOUTH!

Some of these mistakes include taking over the lesson and not letting the teens speak, criticizing the music, dress, and content of the program. It’s not for you! Don’t show up for a camp and demand quiet at 10pm. Ask God for patience and a higher level of tolerance. You will need it. No one needs to hear all the stories about how great your youth group was growing up.

Will you help me pray for all youth workers today? We honor your service and dedication.


Nelson Fernandez

Nelson is married to the love of his life, Sarah, and together have a son named Isaac. He serves as Associate Pastor at Miami Temple SDA, a multilingual, multiethnic, and multicultural church in South Florida. He loves ministry, Marvel movies, video games, Naruto, and serving the local church. He also runs his own blog about leadership, evangelism, and practical Christianity at You can follow him on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram @nelsonblogs.

This Post Has 2 Comments
  1. I agree a 100% youth workers are in Youth Ministry because they Love our youths. They need our prayers and support.

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