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I Want To Be Wrong About God

I Want to Be Wrong About God

We have a greater need to desire God than to deconstruct Him.

I woke up with a strange prayer pouring out of my lips, “God, I pray You’re not who I think You are.” Before I could rightly wrap my mind around what the Spirit spoke through me, I followed it with, “God, I don’t want You to be who I want You to be.” I don’t want God to be the small God I keep expecting Him to be, to do just the small things I keep expecting Him to do. I don’t want to keep thinking of God in the same small ways I’ve been thinking of Him. For example, I remember hearing a tinkering noise while driving our SUV one day and whispering a prayer, “God, please just let our truck last… … … and help me to stop praying dumb prayers like this one!” The Word says we have not because we ask not, but the follow up of that passage is that even when we ask, we ask amiss. Even when I make my requests known, my own self-focus gets in the way of making requests in alignment with God’s will (James 4:2-3).

God’s been reminding me that if He is who I think He is, then He’s not who He says He is. If our finite thoughts could fully define Him, then how infinite a God is He, really? We have a greater need to desire God than to deconstruct Him. Each time we try to define Him, we instead confine Him. God is so much bigger than my thoughts and the space that stores them; He’s so much bigger than our explanation of Him. One phrasing I saw reminds us that our requests and thoughts about God are exceedingly, abundantly BELOW what God desires to do for us [Ephesians 3:20]. Even when I think I have it right about God, I’m missing the mark, and by a lot.

God’s thoughts and ways are more than 13 billion light years above ours.

All I need to understand about God is that His thoughts and ways are above [Isaiah 55:8-9]. Maybe when we really get this, we’ll be less inclined to argue with others about who God is and who He’ll use. Maybe then we can stress a little less about how He’ll work things out for our good. As I mentioned in a previous post, the farthest object observed from planet earth is more than 13 billion light years away. God is saying His thoughts and ways are more than 13 billion light years above ours. While we can only see a few options for solving our most difficult problems, God towers more than 13 billion light years above our circumstances and has already claimed victory.

What surprises us doesn’t surprise God, and what we think is right for Him to do is infinitely smaller than what He’s capable of doing. I thank God that He’s not who I think He is. I thank Him that He’s not even who I want Him to be. He’s wild, untamable, and in control. He doesn’t fit within our earthly definitions of Him. His infinitude will always bear some mystery, and with it should come a heaping measure of humility. With it should come a great deal of compassion for others and an open mind about what and who God will use to bring Himself glory. With this perspective should come a sense of peace that whatever problem you’re having right now has a myriad of solutions. A God whose love stretches from everlasting to everlasting, a breadth we can’t fully grasp, is a God I hope we’re all wrong about to some degree.

“It is not a static Christ we sing today, nor one who safely stays within the frame that history offered Him.” ~Bill Knott


Dee Knight

Dee Knight is a wife, mother, and clinical psychologist who is passionate about seeing brokenness restored. She earned her doctorate in clinical neuropsychology, which she uses to minister to trauma survivors and those experiencing relational distress. Dr. Knight is an author and international speaker who has served her community for over a decade through Christ-centered psychotherapy, healing conferences, and support groups. Connect with her via the social media handle @DrDeeKnight

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