When we think someone is sinning, we often feel compelled to comment. We can change them. We can help them. They just don’t fully realize the extent of their actions. They haven’t tried hard enough to change their stripes. They haven’t asked the right questions to get help. They haven’t read the right books to understand their own waywardness. We mean well. We really do. However, some of the most heinous acts in human history have been committed in the name of well-meaning.
We hint. We suggest. We give those knowing glances. We tell others, because we think others can help us make the person change. We heap loads of guilt up and serve it on a silver platter. “Change!” becomes our cry and plea.
Though we pile-on positivity, we don’t often realize what the individual is going through. Trust me, there’s enough on their plate without first and second helpings of our denouncements and judgments of their lifestyle. What if you were concerned that you may be continually living in opposition to God? What if you knew everyone you loved was firmly convicted that you were a sinner? How about if you felt there were no other way to be true to yourself? What if you feared you’d never be able to marry or have children? What if you worried that you’d never be able to express your love for another individual?
Forgive my bluntness, but at the end of the day, we often keep the gay from being happy. We judge them when they live in the midst of internal judgment that condemns far more harshly than anything we can muster. It’s not the biblical way. To be honest, I firmly believe that the Bible is clearly against homosexual practice and expression. However, I don’t want that conviction to get in the way of building relationships with my fellow believer or non-believer who feels differently. I do not believe that the biblical stance of love is contradictory to the biblical mandate against homosexual practice.
You see, we have to stop pretending that caring about someone necessitates automatic acceptance of every belief or lifestyle practice of that person. We have to stop buying into this idea that being a part of someone’s life is equivalent with condoning their every choice. I don’t find anywhere in my Bible that points to that belief. What I do find in my Bible is a God who calls me to love my brother (John 13:35; I John 4:12,20). I’m not saying it’s always easy, but I am saying that Christ gave us an example that shows it’s worth whatever personal sacrifices we have to go through to show love to everyone.
It’s not my job to tell you that you are living against God’s Word. It’s the Holy Spirit that brings convictions. While I realize that there are very real realities and concerns about those living actively homosexual lifestyles in leadership roles, I think that the church is the place for gay people. God wants those who accept His message to come and join the ranks. Even when those struggles are as taboo as homosexuality, He wants us to lay them at His feet. Have we forgotten that all church members are broken? Rather than denying our issues, we should be supremely aware of our own inferiority next to God’s perfection.
Just because you are attracted to the opposite sex, this does not give you the right to treat those who feel attracted to the same sex harshly. At the end of the day, each of us fails on our own. We have sin that we are trying to give to God more fully. I don’t have all the answers, but I do know Jesus’ example teaches us to love. Jesus’ example teaches us to welcome our homosexual friends and family members with open arms. We aren’t supposed to try and change them. Though He may decide to use us, only God can shape or inspire any sort of transformation. While it’s important to have a biblical opinion on homosexuality prepared to counsel, please don’t think you have the license to shove that opinion down the throats of those who identify themselves with LGBTQ orientations. Love. At the end of the day, doctrine should lead us to formulating relationships. Let go of your homophobia. Let God create actual change through the authentic relationships that you engage in with other sinners.[/box_holder]